How to Win Friends and Influence People

You may recognize the title of this article. It is that of a book written by the late Dale Carnegie. The advice in the book about your influence on people remains timeless. The book spells out some common sense techniques, yet many people fail to implement them, even after they have read the book. This is why Dale Carnegie himself suggested using the book as a reference after the first read. It’s important to reinforce the techniques on influence described from time-to-time.

Techniques To Help Make People Like You

If you haven’t read the book (and you should), Carnegie describes techniques that make people want to be with you.

Remember Names

One is the simple technique of influence is using somebody’s name. This requires that you remember the name when a person is first introduced to you. But once you know the name, be sure to use it whenever you come in contact with that person. People value their names more than you could possibly imagine. The next time someone says your name when speaking to you, pay attention to how that makes you feel. It is likely to make you feel a connection with that person on a level that you probably took for granted in the past.

Pay Attention

Another technique that Carnegie describes is to pay attention to other peoples’ likes and wants. If you know somebody that is into elephants, for example, when you come across items related to elephants, make that person aware of it. Carnegie goes into much greater depth about this, but you get the general idea. Take a genuine interest in others and you will find them drawing towards you more and more.

The techniques described in the book are common sense, but they work. There are several other techniques that are described which can really give you those influencing abilities you want to acquire. His techniques are not difficult to incorporate into your life. They will have a tremendous impact in how you are looked upon by others.

Change Your Life Through Writing

Your life is not set in stone. It’s something that you can change. One of the tools that you can use is a pen (or pencil). You can use writing to help you create the life you want.

Processing Emotions

A simple way to understand and come to terms with your emotions is to write down whatever it is that is bothering you. This allows you to internalise and then solve the problem. You’ll increase your self-knowledge and help yourself move forward.

Clearing Your Mind

To achieve higher levels of thinking and problem solving you need to clear your mind of unimportant or irrelevant thoughts. A simple way to achieve this is to “Core dump”.

Core dumping is a technique devised by David Allen (Getting Things Done). You simply list everything you need to do that day. This helps to clear your mind to allow you to focus on the most important things.

Another method of mind clearing is to write a stream of consciousness first thing in the morning every day. The important point with this process is that you write continuously without stopping to think or edit about what you are setting onto the page.

Julia Cameron (The Artist’s Way) calls this method, “Morning Pages”. She advocates writing three pages or approximately 750 words of your stream of consciousness first thing in the morning as a way to clear your mind. This leaves only those important thoughts you need to focus on for the day.

Create a Record

Diary keeping has been undertaken for centuries. It’s a powerful tool for keeping a record of activities and actions. By being able to re-read these you get to remember the past including your thoughts and feelings. This allows you to gain understanding and insight. An additional benefit is the realization of your strengths and achievements.


Keeping a record of your achievements can be beneficial to your self-confidence as well as self-knowledge. There are different types of writing you can complete including:
Goal lists
To do lists

Recording your achievements allows you to recognize and celebrate your achievements big or small.

Big Thinking

Dreams and goals are important as they help us to learn, grow and achieve success. Writing down your hopes and dreams allows you to not only dream about the future you’d like but to visualize it. By visualizing your dreams, you are making them more real. Your written record of your big thoughts will help you track them giving you a greater opportunity to achieve them.

If you want your life to change, then writing is a powerful tool. By using one or more of the methods above you will be creating a commitment to change and self-improvement. You can set goals, hold yourself accountable for making the changes and monitor your progress.

How to Help a Partner with Low Self-Esteem

It can be heartbreaking to watch someone you love wrestle with their own self-worth. Having a partner with low self-esteem can affect your relationship as well.

Understanding Self-Esteem

To really be able to help your partner, you need to understand what self-esteem truly means and where it comes from. The truth is that self-esteem is deeper than just dressing the part. To make real changes, you will need to dig deep. Self-esteem isn’t just about feeling good about how you look or having confidence. Self-esteem means having a sense of self-worth and self-respect.

Look to the Past

A lot of times people with low self-esteem feel the way they do because of something that has happened to them in the past. It could even be something they learned from a parent or someone else close to them.

Talk It Out

Without pressuring your partner too much, it may help to talk about their issues. They may or may not be willing to discuss their feelings of self-worth, and might even brush the whole situation off as silly. It’s important that you do not force the issue too much, as you want them to come around in their own time and not feel pressured.

Consider Therapy

Sometimes, especially if the situation is particularly bad or is affecting your daily lives, seeing a therapist can help get to the root of the problem. Your partner may be more comfortable talking to a professional, and you need to be okay with that too.

Show Unconditional Love

No matter what, it is very important that you maintain and show your unconditional love for your partner. The very idea that you love them unconditionally, even when they cannot find that love for themselves, is going to be what keeps you both holding on.

Speak Your Affections

Your partner may not understand or realize their self-worth, but you do. Let them know by speaking your affections out loud and often. Avoid making it all about their physical looks, though; remember that self-esteem is much deeper than that. When you can, tell your partner all of the ways that they are a good person and how deserving they are of love and respect.

Be Patient

Teaching another person about themselves is a daunting and sometimes near impossible task. You might be feeling irritated, upset, or your own self-esteem might take a few hits as well. Try to be patient and give your loved one the time and space that they require.

Don’t Give Up

Most importantly, don’t give up on your partner. Low self-esteem is a deep and complex issue, so it will take time and work. It’s not your job to fix them, but you can help them by having patience and the strength to ensure that they get help.

With patience, love, and determination, you can help your partner overcome their low self-esteem. It may be a tough process with heartbreaking moments, but the two of you can make it through. Have hope and confidence that your partner will eventually, in time, come around and see themselves for the wonderful loving person you know them to be.

Brain Games in the BabeCave

There are differences between brain games and brain training. It’s very much like doing a couple of sit ups compared to going to the gym and following the regimen specified by your trainer. This doesn’t mean that brain games don’t have their uses. They do. But, to get the full benefits of optimal brain activity, you want to have a more rigorous program defined that keeps you on track.

Crossword Puzzles

Many people love to do crossword puzzles and do them without much thought that it could be helping their brains. If you believe that keeping your brain active will keep it healthy later in life, then frequently doing crossword puzzles is a good activity to engage in.

Puzzle Games

If you are not into crossword puzzles, you should consider puzzle games. These types of games will get you to focus on problem solving. There is a brain-iac belief that pathways created in our brain as a result of solving problems can help reinforce the brain’s capacity. However, not all scientific studies are in agreement with this conclusion. This is giving me a headache!

Quizzes and Trivia

Do you tend to be more analytical? Then, you may want to focus on quizzes and other games, like trivia. These can challenge your knowledge. Repeated use of trivia games will enhance your learning, at least in the subjects that you choose to quiz yourself on.
The last group of games that you could participate in, are ones where you need to think ahead in order to solve the puzzle or problem at hand. Sudoku and chess are great examples of these types of games.

Brain Training

Brain training offers a more formal approach than brain games. Here, you are given a curriculum and requested to perform brain exercises, including brain games. The training is often structured for each individual.

The motives of many brain training companies is to make a profit. Although companies have the right to make money, make sure the companies you are considering are legitimate. Ask a lot of questions and try to seek the advice of others who experienced these programs. Otherwise, you may end up paying hefty fees and receive little to no brain benefit. Even if you decide not to enroll in braining training programs, if you enjoy playing games, participate in as many brain games that you find. We’re never too old to learn. When you’re relaxing in your BabeCave, read a book, do a puzzle, play a challenging game on your computer, write down your memories or future plans. Train your brain ladies! Keep your noggin nourished and your synapses firing.

Life Hack Solutions Make Your Day Easier

We are constantly running into pesky little obstacles in life that make things difficult. Luckily, there are ways to avoid these nuisances through the use of “life hacks.” Life hacks are uncommon solutions to common problems.

Life Hack Solutions

We know we have bigger things to worry about than a scratch on the new kitchen table or popping the zipper on a favorite pair of pants. With these life hacks, everyday objects can be used in unusual ways to make life easier. The list that follows includes ten life hacks that will help you manage your time in a more efficient way and clear your mind of some of the petty problems in your life.

1. Rub a walnut on scratched or damaged wooden furniture to cover up the blemishes.

2. Bust your zipper? Attach a key ring on the zipper and slip it over the button of you pants.

3. Instead of ice cubes, freeze grapes and put them in white wine. Ice cubes water the wine down. Frozen grapes keep your wine cool and give you one essential serving of fruit for the day! What a way to get nutrition as you relax in your BabeCave.

4. Do you have so many keys that your key ring makes you look like a prison guard? Use nail polish to identify different keys.

5. Clip a clothespin onto a nail to hold the nail in place while hammering. Your fingers will thank you!

6. Put a wooden spoon across a boiling pot of water to keep it from boiling over. Never knew that one, did you?!

7. Take some aluminum foil, ball it up, and throw it into the dryer. It will eliminate static cling and act as a dryer sheet.

8. Crumple up newspaper and stuff it in your shoes to absorb odor and moisture.

9. Paint clear nail polish onto the buttons of your shirts to keep them from unraveling. The polish will hold the thread and the button together so your button doesn’t fall off.

10. Break in new shoes in no time at all. Wear a pair of thick socks and put on your new shoes. Use a hair dryer to blow over tight areas for five minutes. This helps as our pretty feet get fat with age!

Life is good! with Life Hacks

Do you have any other usable life hacks to share with your BabeCave babes? Reply in the Comments section below and we’ll keep this list growing. Life is good! Life hacks make it better!

Improve Credit Score: Clean Up Bad Credit


Bad credit can make life much more difficult than it should be. You may have trouble qualifying for loans and credit cards, and if you do get credit cards, they might have high interest rates. Also, your current creditors might raise your interest rates. You might even have trouble getting a job or signing up for utilities.

It’s no fun when your credit haunts you in everything you try to do. But it is possible to get your credit back on the right track. Here are some simple steps you can take to get your credit report back into shape.

  • Request a free copy of your credit report from all three reporting agencies (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion). The Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA) requires each of these companies to provide you with a free copy of your credit report, at your request, once every 12 months. To order, visit  Currently, this is the only source for getting a free copy of your report as required by law.

Since you can get a free copy of your report from each agency once a year, take the opportunity to do so. Scour each report for errors. If there is something that you don’t recognize, or if a creditor has reported incorrect information, file a dispute with the credit bureau or bureaus that list that information. They are required by law to investigate, and if the information is found to be false, it must be removed.

  • Pay your debts down. When you have one or more credit cards that are maxed out, your credit score will suffer. Stop charging for a while and put as much money as possible toward lowering your balances. Soon your credit score will start rising.
  • Get caught up on your payments. If you’re currently behind, that will seriously impact your credit score. If you have a past delinquency but are now current in your payments, the delinquencies will have an effect, but they won’t be nearly as serious. If you’re having trouble making your payments, talk to creditors and see if they will accept reduced payments and bring your account current. Many will be willing to work with you.
  • Sometimes you can benefit from getting another credit card, as long as you do not use it. This gives you more available credit, lowering your balance-to-credit-limit ratios which improves your credit score. But if the temptation to charge would be too great, you’re better off just trying to pay off the debt you already have.
  • If you have a lot of past credit problems that are still haunting you, try getting a secured credit card from your bank or a credit agency. These cards require a deposit to secure your credit line, but they will help you rebuild your credit as long as you keep up with your payments.

There’s no way to instantly improve your credit. But by following these steps, you can improve your credit scores in a few months’ time. Good luck!

Take your art to the next level

Art is a diverse range of human activities and the products of those activities, usually involving imaginative or technical skill. In their most general form these activities include the production of works of art, the criticism of art, the study of the history of art, and the aesthetic dissemination of art. This article focuses primarily on the visual arts, which includes the creation of images or objects in fields including painting, sculpture, printmaking, photography, and other visual media. Architecture is often included as one of the visual arts; however, like the decorative arts, it involves the creation of objects where the practical considerations of use are essential—in a way that they usually are not in a painting, for example. Music, theatre, film, dance, and other performing arts, as well as literature and other media such as interactive media, are included in a broader definition of art or the arts. Until the 17th century, art referred to any skill or mastery and was not differentiated from crafts or sciences. In modern usage after the 17th century, where aesthetic considerations are paramount, the fine arts are separated and distinguished from acquired skills in general, such as the decorative or applied arts.

Brewing the Perfect Tea

Care for a spot of tea? Tea is an aromatic beverage commonly prepared by pouring hot or boiling water over cured leaves of the Camellia sinensis, an evergreen shrub native to Asia. After water, it is the most widely consumed drink in the world. There are many different types of tea; some teas, like Darjeeling and Chinese greens, have a cooling, slightly bitter, and astringent flavour, while others have vastly different profiles that include sweet, nutty, floral, or grassy notes.

Tea originated in the southwest of China, used as a medicinal drink. It became a popular drink throughout China during the Tang dynasty, and tea drinking spread to other East Asian countries. Portuguese priests and merchants introduced it to the West during the 16th century. During the 17th century, drinking tea became fashionable among Britons, who started large-scale production and commercialization of the plant in India to bypass a Chinese monopoly at that time.

The phrase herbal tea usually refers to infusions of fruit or herbs made without the tea plant, such as steeps of rosehip, chamomile, or rooibos. These are also known as tisanes or herbal infusions to distinguish them from “tea” as it is commonly construed. Of course, a spot of brandy in your tea may be relaxing too!

Flower Arranging Tutorial

Floristry is the production, commerce and trade in flowers. It encompasses flower care and handling, floral design or flower arranging, merchandising, and display and flower delivery. Wholesale florists sell bulk flowers and related supplies to professionals in the trade. Retail florists offer fresh flowers and related products and services to consumers.

Floristry can involve the cultivation of flowers as well as their arrangement, and to the business of selling them. Much of the raw material supplied for the floristry trade comes from the cut flower industry. Florist shops, along with online stores are the main flower-only outlets, but supermarkets, garden supply stores and filling stations also sell flowers.

Floral design or floral arts is the art of creating flower arrangements in vases, bowls, baskets or other containers, or making bouquets and compositions from cut flowers, foliages, herbs, ornamentalgrasses and other plant materials. Often the terms “floral design” and “floristry” are considered synonymous. Florists are people who work with flowers and plants, generally at the retail level. Floristry differs from floristics, the study of distribution and relationships of plant species over geographic areas. Floristry also differs from horticulture, which more broadly relates to the cultivation of flowers and plants so they will remain fresh as long as possible, and would be desirable for purchase, which also involves knowledge of customers’ requirements and expectations. The ability to create a variety of floral designs such as wreaths, bouquets, corsages, boutonnières/’buttonholes’, permanent arrangements and other more complicated arrangements is also important.

Education, both formal and informal, is another significant segment of the floristry industry. Established floristry designers and artists impart their craft to students interested in floral design as hobby or career. Courses are generally available through community colleges, private post-secondary vocational schools, and professional florist trade associations.

The floristry business has a significant market in the corporate and social event world, as flowers play a large part in the decor of special events and meetings. Centerpieces, entryways, reception tables, bridal bouquets, wedding chuppahs and stage sets are only a few examples of how flowers are used in the business and social event settings. Flowers are also traditionally used in ecclesiastical settings and their arrangement is often done by skilled church volunteers.

Mammogram Prep


Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.mammogram


Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn’t effective enough..


Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.


Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.


AND, just a thought for all the women out there…
MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown,
Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with men?…And When we have real trouble it’s HISterectomy!