Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn’t effective enough..
Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!
AND, just a thought for all the women out there…
MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown,
Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with men?…And When we have real trouble it’s HISterectomy!
3 thoughts on “Mammogram Prep”
Greetings from Carolina! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to
check out your website on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the knowledge you provide here and can’t wait
to take a look when I get home. I’m surprised at how quick your blog loaded on my mobile ..
I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, good blog!
Blonde Betty says:
Hi Carolina. Keep an eye on Babaecave.info this summer. Blonde Betty has been working with designers and stores. She’s getting ready to start showing tips on how to create a bad ass babecave – then some awesome things to do while you enjoy in your cave!
sikis izle says:
Gracias por compartir.