Tag: self esteem

You may recognize the title of this article. It is that of a book written by the late Dale Carnegie. The advice in the book about your influence on people remains timeless. The book spells out some common sense techniques, yet many people fail to implement them, even after they have read the book. This is why Dale Carnegie himself suggested using the book as a reference after the first read. It’s important to reinforce the techniques on influence described from time-to-time.

Techniques To Help Make People Like You

If you haven’t read the book (and you should), Carnegie describes techniques that make people want to be with you.

Remember Names

One is the simple technique of influence is using somebody’s name. This requires that you remember the name when a person is first introduced to you. But once you know the name, be sure to use it whenever you come in contact with that person. People value their names more than you could possibly imagine. The next time someone says your name when speaking to you, pay attention to how that makes you feel. It is likely to make you feel a connection with that person on a level that you probably took for granted in the past.

Pay Attention

Another technique that Carnegie describes is to pay attention to other peoples’ likes and wants. If you know somebody that is into elephants, for example, when you come across items related to elephants, make that person aware of it. Carnegie goes into much greater depth about this, but you get the general idea. Take a genuine interest in others and you will find them drawing towards you more and more.

The techniques described in the book are common sense, but they work. There are several other techniques that are described which can really give you those influencing abilities you want to acquire. His techniques are not difficult to incorporate into your life. They will have a tremendous impact in how you are looked upon by others.

It can be heartbreaking to watch someone you love wrestle with their own self-worth. Having a partner with low self-esteem can affect your relationship as well.

Understanding Self-Esteem

To really be able to help your partner, you need to understand what self-esteem truly means and where it comes from. The truth is that self-esteem is deeper than just dressing the part. To make real changes, you will need to dig deep. Self-esteem isn’t just about feeling good about how you look or having confidence. Self-esteem means having a sense of self-worth and self-respect.

Look to the Past

A lot of times people with low self-esteem feel the way they do because of something that has happened to them in the past. It could even be something they learned from a parent or someone else close to them.

Talk It Out

Without pressuring your partner too much, it may help to talk about their issues. They may or may not be willing to discuss their feelings of self-worth, and might even brush the whole situation off as silly. It’s important that you do not force the issue too much, as you want them to come around in their own time and not feel pressured.

Consider Therapy

Sometimes, especially if the situation is particularly bad or is affecting your daily lives, seeing a therapist can help get to the root of the problem. Your partner may be more comfortable talking to a professional, and you need to be okay with that too.

Show Unconditional Love

No matter what, it is very important that you maintain and show your unconditional love for your partner. The very idea that you love them unconditionally, even when they cannot find that love for themselves, is going to be what keeps you both holding on.

Speak Your Affections

Your partner may not understand or realize their self-worth, but you do. Let them know by speaking your affections out loud and often. Avoid making it all about their physical looks, though; remember that self-esteem is much deeper than that. When you can, tell your partner all of the ways that they are a good person and how deserving they are of love and respect.

Be Patient

Teaching another person about themselves is a daunting and sometimes near impossible task. You might be feeling irritated, upset, or your own self-esteem might take a few hits as well. Try to be patient and give your loved one the time and space that they require.

Don’t Give Up

Most importantly, don’t give up on your partner. Low self-esteem is a deep and complex issue, so it will take time and work. It’s not your job to fix them, but you can help them by having patience and the strength to ensure that they get help.

With patience, love, and determination, you can help your partner overcome their low self-esteem. It may be a tough process with heartbreaking moments, but the two of you can make it through. Have hope and confidence that your partner will eventually, in time, come around and see themselves for the wonderful loving person you know them to be.