Hartley Cramer

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Influence

You may recognize the title of this article. It is that of a book written by the late Dale Carnegie. The advice in the book about your influence on people remains timeless. The book spells out some common sense techniques, yet many people fail to implement them, even after they have read the book. This is why Dale Carnegie himself suggested using the book as a reference after the first read. It’s important to reinforce the techniques on influence described from time-to-time.

Techniques To Help Make People Like You

If you haven’t read the book (and you should), Carnegie describes techniques that make people want to be with you.

Remember Names

One is the simple technique of influence is using somebody’s name. This requires that you remember the name when a person is first introduced to you. But once you know the name, be sure to use it whenever you come in contact with that person. People value their names more than you could possibly imagine. The next time someone says your name when speaking to you, pay attention to how that makes you feel. It is likely to make you feel a connection with that person on a level that you probably took for granted in the past.

Pay Attention

Another technique that Carnegie describes is to pay attention to other peoples’ likes and wants. If you know somebody that is into elephants, for example, when you come across items related to elephants, make that person aware of it. Carnegie goes into much greater depth about this, but you get the general idea. Take a genuine interest in others and you will find them drawing towards you more and more.

The techniques described in the book are common sense, but they work. There are several other techniques that are described which can really give you those influencing abilities you want to acquire. His techniques are not difficult to incorporate into your life. They will have a tremendous impact in how you are looked upon by others.

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Change Your Life Through Writing

Writing

Your life is not set in stone. It’s something that you can change. One of the tools that you can use is a pen (or pencil). You can use writing to help you create the life you want.

Processing Emotions

A simple way to understand and come to terms with your emotions is to write down whatever it is that is bothering you. This allows you to internalise and then solve the problem. You’ll increase your self-knowledge and help yourself move forward.

Clearing Your Mind

To achieve higher levels of thinking and problem solving you need to clear your mind of unimportant or irrelevant thoughts. A simple way to achieve this is to “Core dump”.

Core dumping is a technique devised by David Allen (Getting Things Done). You simply list everything you need to do that day. This helps to clear your mind to allow you to focus on the most important things.

Another method of mind clearing is to write a stream of consciousness first thing in the morning every day. The important point with this process is that you write continuously without stopping to think or edit about what you are setting onto the page.

Julia Cameron (The Artist’s Way) calls this method, “Morning Pages”. She advocates writing three pages or approximately 750 words of your stream of consciousness first thing in the morning as a way to clear your mind. This leaves only those important thoughts you need to focus on for the day.

Create a Record

Diary keeping has been undertaken for centuries. It’s a powerful tool for keeping a record of activities and actions. By being able to re-read these you get to remember the past including your thoughts and feelings. This allows you to gain understanding and insight. An additional benefit is the realization of your strengths and achievements.

Achievements

Keeping a record of your achievements can be beneficial to your self-confidence as well as self-knowledge. There are different types of writing you can complete including:
Journals
Diaries
Goal lists
To do lists

Recording your achievements allows you to recognize and celebrate your achievements big or small.

Big Thinking

Dreams and goals are important as they help us to learn, grow and achieve success. Writing down your hopes and dreams allows you to not only dream about the future you’d like but to visualize it. By visualizing your dreams, you are making them more real. Your written record of your big thoughts will help you track them giving you a greater opportunity to achieve them.

If you want your life to change, then writing is a powerful tool. By using one or more of the methods above you will be creating a commitment to change and self-improvement. You can set goals, hold yourself accountable for making the changes and monitor your progress.

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Connecting with People Increases Your Influence

Connecting

Connecting with People

There is no doubt that taking one step towards connecting with more people will improve your influence, build your roster of friends, and make you relevant. This means more than having someone follow you on social media. It means going the extra mile and reaching out to people, sometimes helping them using any means possible, and other times just talking to them.

It is such a simple concept, yet one that eludes a lot of people. Too often, the focus of connection is to try and sell or get something in return. This should be the last possible motivation when making connections. There is nothing wrong with trying to make some money using your connections or to get something in return. Primarily, in return for your friend, you will get support, attention, and friendship in return.

Give More Than You Take

The operative word when connecting with others is give. Always be willing to give way more than you take. Become the person everyone wants to contact for answers to their questions. Learn what people are looking for and give it to them if you can. Send them a personal email stating that you found what they were looking for. Step out of yourself, your comfort zone, and be a courteous friend.

Reach Out

When you take the extra measure to reach out to people on a personal level, they take notice and let others know about it as well. The more this happens, the more you become the resource that people will rely on. Another unintended consequence (a good one) that will happen as you increase your influence, is that you can help others to do the same. When you find people who are trying to build their connections and they are doing so in the manners described here, you can help them along by sharing your connections. They will be grateful for your efforts in this regard. Connections. Contacts. Support. Don’t live in isolation. Be a friend. Get a friend.

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Ten Tips to Strengthen Your Self-Esteem

self-esteem

Keep a Strong and Healthy Self-Esteem

Your self-esteem is more than just the confidence you have in yourself. It goes much deeper than that, down into your feelings of self-worth and how much you respect yourself. Your self-esteem affects everything about you, from the decisions you make to your overall outlook on the world.

A strong and healthy self-esteem is one of the main building blocks of a happy and healthy you. With a healthy self-esteem you can have the confidence to do well in the world, and the self-respect to make good decisions.

Ten Tips Improve Self-Esteem

Here are ten tips on how to improve your self-esteem.

1. Stop the Criticism – Find the strength to stop criticizing yourself so much. You cannot expect yourself to be perfect any more than anyone else can.

2. Make a List – Make an actual “pro” and “con” list and write down what you do and do not like about yourself. Be specific and resist the impulse to just write things like “I hate my hair.” When you are very specific like this, you might find that you have less to dislike than you think.

3. Set Realistic Goals – Set personal goals for yourself so you have something to work for, and set up a reward system as well. Resist the urge to make unrealistic goals, however. For example, don’t expect to be able to run five miles the first time you try, or attempt to lose 50 lbs in a month. Make small, realistic goals and you will always have something to look forward to.

4. Take Care of Yourself – Eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. Drink water. Take care of yourself, and take pride in your body and mind.

5. Think Positive Thoughts – Try to avoid thinking negative thoughts, especially when it comes to yourself. Instead, put those thoughts out of your head and purposely start listing all of the positives around you.

6. Don’t Make Comparisons – It is unrealistic and unhealthy to compare yourself to other people. You are a unique individual; you should take pride in what sets you apart.

7. Treat Yourself Well – Show yourself a good time every once in a while, or treat yourself to something special. Even small things, like taking the time to indulge in a good book or a home spa treatment, can do wonders for your self-esteem.

8. Meditate – Meditation isn’t about sitting cross-legged and humming. It is about taking the time to release your mind and body from all of the stress, closing your eyes, and focusing on centering yourself. Your BabeCave is the best place to meditate in quiet, surrounded by the things you love in a space you can call your very own. Meditation is a great stress reliever and could help you connect with your inner self.

9. Make Good Decisions – Good self-esteem is also about having self-respect. Making good decisions in all walks of life will help you maintain that self-respect. For most of us, the voice of our conscience starts to speak – sometimes softly – sometimes it screams – when we know something we are about to do is wrong. With good self-esteem, you learn to listen to your small voice and heed its warning.

10. The Truth about Perfection – The truth about perfection is that it doesn’t exist. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and those mistakes are all part of the adventure of life. Don’t get hung up on things that you might not do just right, or if something isn’t perfect, because there is no such thing.

A healthy self-esteem can change your life. People with healthy self-esteem are more likely to make good decisions, work harder towards accomplishment, attract good people to their lives, influence others to feel good about themselves, and become satisfied with the life they have.

Reread these tips to improve your self esteem and work on it. With these tips, you can strengthen your self-esteem and live a happier life.

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Less is More in Your Babe Cave Sanctuary

Sanctuary of Minimalism

The Babe Cave is your Sanctuary

The Babe Cave is not your family room, game room, or dining room. It is your sanctuary. Therefore, it is essential that you keep your BabeCave neat, tidy, and decluttered. When you walk in the door, you want to feel relaxed, at peace, not like you just walked into a war zone or into another room in the house you have to organize or clean.

Minimalism Means Meaningful

You have probably heard the term “minimalism” before, especially in our society where people are buying more and more things. People often assume minimalism means just having less stuff, but the focus is actually more on keeping the things that are meaningful and add value to your life. If you find that you have hoarding tendencies, ask yourself: Does this _________ improve my life in any way? Could I live without this object? If this disappeared from my life, would I even notice? You’d be surprised at all the unnecessary things you don’t really need.

Limit Physical Objects

Try to limit the physical objects in your Babe Cave to only the things that will enhance your experience as you unwind and de-stress. If you’re not sure what to keep in your Babe Cave, look at the ‘Cave Contents’ section of the Babe Cave website to see what essentials you need: a good chair, good light, a scented candle, just the basics. The “Cave Contents” items are useful and serve a purpose to help you relax. The rest – especially stacks of papers – should be removed.

Remove Distractions and Relax

Remove anything you have in your Babe Cave that could be a distraction from relaxation and inspiration. Move the trade journals and lingering work assignments to your office or briefcase. Definitely remove food. But, take heart, you can enjoy that glass of Cab in your Cave. In your Babe Cave, you want only the things you find enjoyable, the things that refresh your mind and soul. Start with a clean, decluttered space. You’ll learn to relax quicker in a minimalist environment.

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The Art and Style of Self-Confidence

self-confidence

Have you ever noticed an individual who was self confident, not necessarily to the point of arrogance, but just that self-confidence came naturally for them? Some individuals have no real issues with self-confidence. Do you often wonder why that is? How is it that some people just walk through life without ever doubting themselves or their intuition while others struggle with this issue?

Self-confidence, yes, is something that people are born with, but thankfully self-confidence is a learnable goal. Of course, even the most self-confident person has issues with insecurity and self-doubt. No one gets away unscathed with that. However, these individuals may be more resilient when things don’t go according to plan. They may be able to rebound a lot quicker than those of us who have little or no self-confidence.

Thankfully, there are ways around having little or no self-confidence. While it might take some practice, it is certainly something you can learn.

Put it in Writing

We all have our strengths, but we all also tend to focus on our own weaknesses. If you find yourself in this category, then perhaps it is time to put pen to paper. When you are sitting in your BabeCave, start making a list of your good qualities. Next to that, start making a list of your achievements.

When you list your good qualities, try to be very specific and show yourself your own uniqueness. For example, don’t just write that you are organized. Be specific and write down that you have wonderful time management skills therefore allowing you to be organized.

Every time you feel discouraged, take a look at your good qualities and look at your accomplishments. It is so easy to beat ourselves up but when we see it in writing, it makes it easier to remember we have already accomplished so much.

Practice Makes Perfect

Practice being self-confident. Decide that you are intentionally going to walk into a room and be self-confident. Once you have taken that on, walk in smiling. Make brief eye contact. Look up instead of down.

Try this on even if it is just briefly. Walk into an event and take on being confident. Play a character. Practice makes perfect. Once you have succeeded this one or two times, you will find it gets easier and easier to be self confident until it becomes natural.

The Art of Looking Good

When you look good, you feel good. Try to keep up with yourself a bit more when taking on self-confidence. A new haircut, a little bit of weight loss, a new outfit are all ways to change the way you look and feel. It is a trickle down effect.

However, when it comes to looking good, don’t take on looking like everyone else as far as your education, career, choice of hair cut, and clothing style. Get in touch with the real you and before you know it, you will shine through with authentic confidence every time.

Your BabeCave is Your Sanctuary

Remember, you set up your BabeCave so you have a private place to focus on you. This is your place for inspiration, education, and relaxation. Look in your mirror and smile. You should be pleased with who is smiling back. When you leave your BabeCave, be refreshed - and be confident. Besides, you have your own BabeCave - and that's a great accomplishment!

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Brain Games in the BabeCave

Brain Games

There are differences between brain games and brain training. It’s very much like doing a couple of sit ups compared to going to the gym and following the regimen specified by your trainer. This doesn’t mean that brain games don’t have their uses. They do. But, to get the full benefits of optimal brain activity, you want to have a more rigorous program defined that keeps you on track.

Crossword Puzzles

Many people love to do crossword puzzles and do them without much thought that it could be helping their brains. If you believe that keeping your brain active will keep it healthy later in life, then frequently doing crossword puzzles is a good activity to engage in.

Puzzle Games

If you are not into crossword puzzles, you should consider puzzle games. These types of games will get you to focus on problem solving. There is a brain-iac belief that pathways created in our brain as a result of solving problems can help reinforce the brain’s capacity. However, not all scientific studies are in agreement with this conclusion. This is giving me a headache!

Quizzes and Trivia

Do you tend to be more analytical? Then, you may want to focus on quizzes and other games, like trivia. These can challenge your knowledge. Repeated use of trivia games will enhance your learning, at least in the subjects that you choose to quiz yourself on.
The last group of games that you could participate in, are ones where you need to think ahead in order to solve the puzzle or problem at hand. Sudoku and chess are great examples of these types of games.

Brain Training

Brain training offers a more formal approach than brain games. Here, you are given a curriculum and requested to perform brain exercises, including brain games. The training is often structured for each individual.

The motives of many brain training companies is to make a profit. Although companies have the right to make money, make sure the companies you are considering are legitimate. Ask a lot of questions and try to seek the advice of others who experienced these programs. Otherwise, you may end up paying hefty fees and receive little to no brain benefit. Even if you decide not to enroll in braining training programs, if you enjoy playing games, participate in as many brain games that you find. We’re never too old to learn. When you’re relaxing in your BabeCave, read a book, do a puzzle, play a challenging game on your computer, write down your memories or future plans. Train your brain ladies! Keep your noggin nourished and your synapses firing.

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Life Hack Solutions Make Your Day Easier

Life Hacks

We are constantly running into pesky little obstacles in life that make things difficult. Luckily, there are ways to avoid these nuisances through the use of “life hacks.” Life hacks are uncommon solutions to common problems.

Life Hack Solutions

We know we have bigger things to worry about than a scratch on the new kitchen table or popping the zipper on a favorite pair of pants. With these life hacks, everyday objects can be used in unusual ways to make life easier. The list that follows includes ten life hacks that will help you manage your time in a more efficient way and clear your mind of some of the petty problems in your life.

1. Rub a walnut on scratched or damaged wooden furniture to cover up the blemishes.

2. Bust your zipper? Attach a key ring on the zipper and slip it over the button of you pants.

3. Instead of ice cubes, freeze grapes and put them in white wine. Ice cubes water the wine down. Frozen grapes keep your wine cool and give you one essential serving of fruit for the day! What a way to get nutrition as you relax in your BabeCave.

4. Do you have so many keys that your key ring makes you look like a prison guard? Use nail polish to identify different keys.

5. Clip a clothespin onto a nail to hold the nail in place while hammering. Your fingers will thank you!

6. Put a wooden spoon across a boiling pot of water to keep it from boiling over. Never knew that one, did you?!

7. Take some aluminum foil, ball it up, and throw it into the dryer. It will eliminate static cling and act as a dryer sheet.

8. Crumple up newspaper and stuff it in your shoes to absorb odor and moisture.

9. Paint clear nail polish onto the buttons of your shirts to keep them from unraveling. The polish will hold the thread and the button together so your button doesn’t fall off.

10. Break in new shoes in no time at all. Wear a pair of thick socks and put on your new shoes. Use a hair dryer to blow over tight areas for five minutes. This helps as our pretty feet get fat with age!

Life is good! with Life Hacks

Do you have any other usable life hacks to share with your BabeCave babes? Reply in the Comments section below and we’ll keep this list growing. Life is good! Life hacks make it better!

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